I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
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