Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
