Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
