what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
