You're so nebulous sometimes
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
