my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I am naked and annoyed.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
