craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
