maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
