Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
