Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
