I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
