weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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