the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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