so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
