no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
