I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize