my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
