She went from zero to smokin in five shots
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
