sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
