Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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