Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
