I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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