Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
