I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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