Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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