i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
