We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
