Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
