even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
