i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
