Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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