he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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