Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize