Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Houston, we have a blender
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You made out with two different species that night
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
