My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You were trust falling into bushes
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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