i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
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