worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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