This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
