get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
