I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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