I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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