bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
