we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
