Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize