The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
