why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
