I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
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There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize