she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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