So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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