You're completely useless in the revolution.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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