Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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