So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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