puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
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4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
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Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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