3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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