yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
