It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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