im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We left an ass print on the piano.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
