I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so let's talk penis.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
