nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
