My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
