Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
