I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My ass is underappreciated
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
