So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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