I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
