Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
My bed smells like the plague
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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