Pappa wants mamma naked
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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