Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
