I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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