I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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