Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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