just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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