Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
